I'm just so happy.

Okay, I am just SO HAPPY. I feel like my past posts have been border-line depressing, but not this one. I am honestly SO HAPPY right now. Like, words can't even describe it. For the past couple of months, I've been feeling so lost & hopeless, anyone know what I mean? Like I didn't belong anywhere...but now, it feels like -- like I've finally found my place. Before I was spending weekends by myself, and CHOOSING not to go hang-out just because I felt like I'd have more fun reading other peoples facebook statuses...how sad is that? It's been rough, and I'm not trying to criticize anyone, but I'm just saying -- things weren't feeling right for me. I was sick of being the out-cast, y'know?

And now -- suddenly, it feels like I'm finally opening my eyes to a whole world outside of this little bubble that was beginning to feel a little too claustrophobic. Like, I'm finally taking a breath of fresh air after being locked up in a little black room. I don't know, I just feel so wonderful now. Like, I know what I want to do. And I have a ton of SUPPORT which I was seriously lacking before. There are people who like the same things I do. I just can't even explain this, it reminds me of a time way back in 6th grade, when I found something so real for the first time. Now, I'm getting to re-live that experience, but it's like -- better?

This probably isn't making sense to any of you, and it's not really supposed to XD I'm just posting this right now to let everyone know that if I've been looking "depressed" lately -- cause that's what people have been telling me -- well let's just say that chick is dead & gone and I am now full of life & ready to live it up & be happy. I'm sick of moping around over something that was completely in my control. Now that I've taken action, I feel like myself again. The real me.

Yours truly,
Raissa

P.S -- I think there was a misunderstanding up there, when I said I was feeling lost & all that stuff, I was blaming people. But then some folks confronted me about it and I guess they were right IT'S MY FAULT I WAS FEELING THAT WAY. Okay, sure. My fault. I don't mind getting that blame -- it's my fault I felt like I wasn't getting the support I wanted & it was my fault I was feeling out of place & it was my fault I was feeling horribly suffocated. Yup, that's right. So let me just clarify that the "people" so to speak that I THOUGHT were making me feel like that are actually perfect. It's not them it's me. (: