scarred for life, much?

So, the other day my moms friend was driving my friend & I home from someone elses house. After we'd dropped her off we started talking and an important detail here is...my mom's friend is a guy & he's gay. Now, anyways, we were talking and somehow we got into talking about boys & the topic of sex came up...? Yeah, I know. It was a little strange but I was like, you know, whatever.

Anyways, we start talking and he says he thinks abstinence is ridiculous. I disagree a little bit just because I think it's true you know? You should save your body for the person you want to be with for the rest of your life...but weirdly enough, this guy made some good points. He said that his friend was abstinent, and when she finally got married & was on her honey moon, her husbands peen was the "size of a pinky." As if I wasn't laughing enough at this point, this 40 yr. old gay man told me that "I shouldn't give every guy I go out with sex, but if it's in the moment I shouldn't fight it." I was dieing, of being uncomfortable & because it sounded HIGH-LARIOUS coming from him.

But here's the worst part -- when he told me I shouldn't go off having sex with every guy (which I already knew on my own) he said that I should give him something to work with, not let him touch me, but I should touch him once in a while to keep him interested. Does anyone understand how awkward & vial that is? I mean seriously, picture yourself sitting in a car...just driving home talking to your mom's gay friend & all of a sudden you get into an awkward conversation and he tells you that it's okay to jack off your boyfriend. I DIED OF LAUGHTER, PEOPLE.

So I learned a couple of thing in the car that day. (1) When you're with someone you've got to have two types of love. 1-love in your heart & 2-love in bed. (2) Gay men are CRAZY ! But seriously, talk about scared for life...I talked to a gay guy about my future sex life...that's pretty darn awkward !

What would you do?

Yours Truly,

Rai

changes.

So, I've been thinking a lot about my friends lately & what's going to happen next year when I move onto high school. I was considering all the friends I've lost & gained and then a question popped into my mind. Do people really change? Or do people just start to like different things? Or is that considered changing? All these intertwined questions with no answers are really starting to drive me nuts !

I mean...does it make sense that just because someone starts to like different music, or wear different clothes, and say different things it's fair to say they've "changed" ? Honestly, I have no idea anymore. I mean...people will say I've changed and I'll ask how? I get no answer. I can't explain how others change myself, and I like being the one with the answers. But seriously though, in the future when there's no such thing as a "Queen B" will the girl who was "Queen B" still have the "Queen B" personality? Or will she change? Will the jerky jock still be a jerk when he's grown out of highschool? Will the nerd still talk about how interesting mathematics is when his job has nothing to do with math? It's all just so confusing my brain is about to spontaneously combust !

So...what does it take to actually change? You don't like who you are, or you're not the person you wanted to be...so you try to change. Does that mean you go off and hang out with new people? Or you go out and do stuff you'd normally hate just because the person you want to be would do that? I really don't understand change anymore & it's driving me fricken insane! Your interests will change, sure, but a tiger can't change it's stripes over night. So maybe the answer is we don't change, maybe we just are who we are at the end of the day & that's how it's supposed to be even if it's not how we pictured it in our own minds.

What do you think?

coy is dead.

Alright so, besides having my own issues...I feel like I'm dealing with a lot of things I...shouldn't be dealing with. I'm just going to be straight-up & throw it out there. PDA should be a beautiful thing, you know? Two people, "in love", wanna show it off -- it's cool. BUT, honestly, when I'm sitting around trying to talk to my friends but I can't because I feel like they're isolated into their own little bubble, it truly gets on my nerves. So, here's my solution.

Coy: affectedly modest or shy especially in a playful or provocative way.

The question: whatever happened to coy? I mean...last time I checked coy wasn't bad. Don't dare mistake me for a prude because I love guys & I love flirting and all that good stuff...but does it need to be in front of everyone I know, every moment of the day? NO. Absolutely not. PDA is becoming gross, and after a while, no offence to those public-affectioners, but it gets unbearably annoying. But back to the coy thing, I personally think the relationship would be a lot hotter if it was discreet...mysterious. I mean, why not save all the touching & kissing for when you two are alone?! Like, the single friends DON'T want to see the couples making out and the other couples don't care because they're too busy being couples! God! Whatever happened to the good old days where you could hang out with your friends, as friends.

Oh and let me not get started on the lame excuses I get when I try to confront my lovey-dovey friends like, "We don't ever see each other" or "So I can't even be near my boyfriend? Or else I'm an annoying couple?" Honey, when your friends are telling you you're isolating yourself & your boyfriend from the group, you better know they're not lieing, and if the only people that are going up against that are the other couples you're in a state I'd like to call DENIAL.

I'm probably coming off as one of those people who can't stand seeing anything that resembles love, but that's far from correct. It's like it's out of my character to tell anyone to "get a room" but sometimes it's just a teensy-weensy too far. I love my friends, but all the PDA crap is really selfish & inconsiderate of the people around you. Forgive me for not understanding the beauty of 24/7 PDA, but until I fall so deeply in love, into this state that I forget everyone else around me and only one person is the center of my world, I will not understand.

xoxo,
Rai.

P.S - sucking face in front of others is MASSIVELY unattractive.